Step Away from the Crazy

The problem with a problem sometimes isn't actually the problem itself. Sometimes, the real problem with a problem is how consumed we become by it. We dwell on it, go over and over it in our minds, lose sleep over it, get ourselves twisted and tied up in knots and let that problem start to take over. That is, until we find a solution.

Ironically, the more we dwell and focus on the problem, the less easy finding a solution becomes. Standing too close to a problem looks something like this. 

 

That's a really nice big crazy mess you've got there.

Well, keeping your eyes on that same big crazy mess, take a step back. Take ten. At some point soon, it might start looking something like this:

This is the same problem, in perspective. All that white space is the other stuff in our lives. It's the friends we spend time with, the community we live in and engage with, it's the walk with the dog or the exercise at the gym, it's browsing a book shop, it's surfing the net. It's nice and clear, trouble-free white space. And it's where, more often than not, the solution to your brain-numbing problem lies.

How often have you struggled with an issue, only to have a friend inadvertently come up with the right answer? How often have you had a light bulb moment while exercising or in the shower, or doing the washing up? Incidentally, Agatha Christie said she used to come up with all her plots while doing the washing up. i.e. not sitting at her desk with a pen and paper trying to develop a story. Creating distance creates white space. Or in other words, if you focus too hard on a problem that's all you will see.

Five top problem busters:

1. Step away from the problem. Switch off your computer, iPad, mobile, whatever you're tied to. Remove yourself from the physical environment you're in - get outside, go for a walk, do anything but think about the issue you're wrestling with.

2. Change your routine. Our brains get set in their ways and become lazy when it comes to problem solving. We have a routine, we stick to it, our brains accept the status quo. Changing your routine creates a shift in your brain, forcing it to wake up and react to new stimuli. Shifts are great for creativity. And creativity is great for problem solving. So change what you eat for breakfast, the route you take to work, the music you listen to, do something you wouldn't normally do like enroll in a salsa class or get out of town for a day.

3. Speaking of creativity. The most effective problem solvers are the most creative. And I don't mean artists or musicians or dancers, necessarily. Creative problem solving means looking at every single factor and resource available and then coming up with as many different ways to combine those factors and resources to solve the problem. Make a list of everyone and everything around you who might offer a solution.  Now list every single way in which each of those can help. Don't dismiss any ideas at the start, just list them all, even if they seem ridiculous. Now start whittling down the list until you're left with one or two good solutions.

4. Let people know you need help.  People like to help and, more often than not, will if they can. Don't keep a problem to yourself when three or four people around you might be only too willing to pitch in and help you out. One of many of my grandma's sayings:  "A problem shared is a problem halved".

5. Keep things in perspective and keep it light! Ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is this problem? Handle it appropriately. Keep a sense of humour and build in some fun to your day. Remember fun? Your problem won't go away if you go out and enjoy yourself, but keeping things in perspective will ultimately help you get through.

Best wishes,

Dawn

The Importance of the Box...

I'm talking jigsaw puzzles here. Now, I'm not one for jigsaws, the ones that come in boxes. Maybe because I'm too busy sorting out puzzles all my very own on a daily basis. But it was while I was sorting out one of these daily dilemmas that I started to see how the way to solve problems successfully is much like sitting down to do that 1,000-piecer your well-meaning Auntie got you for Christmas when you were about 8. You know, the one with the sailing boats or the two kittens sitting in a basket of wool.

So, what do you do when you do a jigsaw? Well, first you tip all those little (irritating) pieces out on the carpet or table or wherever. (I remember my grandma's carpet, big intricately coloured and patterned - nightmare for jigsaws). Then what do you do? You start laboriously turning all those little pieces over so that the picture side is face up. Maybe you start sorting out which are edge pieces, which are corner pieces, maybe you group together the pieces that are obviously sky (or kitten) versus sea (wool).

And then you look at the box. Or rather the picture on the box. Picture on the box, pieces on the carpet, picture on the box... you've done jigsaws, you know what I mean.

One particular problem I was trying to sort out recently was how many hours and human beings it was going to take to cover childcare over a 24 hour period. Every solution I came up with ultimately drew a blank. Just as I was about to curl up in the fetal position and pull the duvet over my head I had a thought. I don't even know what the picture is, let alone where all the pieces go. Once I realised that it all became relatively simple.

So, then. Let's say the first rule of solving a problem or creating a plan is: what is the picture, the one you are trying to create? What does the solution to your problem look like, in other words.

Once you know what your picture is, the rest is straightforward enough. You start looking at the pieces you've got on the table/carpet. These pieces - these are your resources. In my case, these were friends, family, babysitters, playgroups I could somehow wrangle/cajole and bribe into helping me out.

Next step, unless you really enjoy being hard on yourself, (in which case, I say go for it) you create the framework. You line up all those edge pieces, match them together until you've created your frame inside which all the other pieces will go.

Your frame is the parameter of your plan. You've dismissed silly ideas, impractical ideas, ideas that require too much money, time, energy... these belong outside the parameter. You don't need to worry about them any more.

So then you're left with the pieces that do work. You slowly examine each piece/resource... where does it fit in this picture, the picture on the box, your plan? Sometimes, those puzzles are easy-peasy: 25 pieces, 50 pieces; sometimes they're the doozies, 1000 pieces - these take time and effort and lots of thought.... and patience.

But once you have the picture - if you have the picture - it's simply a matter of taking each step one piece at a time.

Back to the box. It's got the picture on it. The picture is also the theme. Like me you might have lots of different jigsaws relating to different themes in your life: childcare, work, friends, family, children, health. And every day or week or month, life will throw up a particular challenge that needs sorting out and piecing together. Keep referring back to the picture... it'll keep you on the right track.

Hoping they're all 25-piecers...


Dawn