Sticking to those New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year again - the prospect of a New Year, a blank sheet to be better, do better - gets us making our list of resolutions.  But how many times have we set off purposefully and diligently, determined to stick to that list this time.. only to see all resolve disappear come March (or earlier). How many of us are actually too scared to make a New Year's resolution in case we fail? Or is that just me?


Well, this year, I invite you to forget making New Year’s Resolutions once a year. Try making them every day.


The road to achieving your New Year’s Resolutions is marked out in days. So, you want to lose 10 pounds in two months? That’s roughly 60 days of eating fewer calories than you burn. Want to get out of debt in six months? That’s 180 days of spending less than you earn and putting that money towards paying off your debts. Need to generate more clients and income in the next month? That's 30 days of generating leads, working on your marketing and building your network.

But forget for a moment how many days you have to reach your goal. In reality, all you need to focus on is one day. Today.

Tomorrow’s successes or failures all depend on what you do today. When tomorrow comes it will simply be another “today”. So, it’s what you do today that counts. And, for that matter, it’s also what you don’t do.

Let's take an example. One of the most common New Year’s Resolutions is to lose weight. The only way to lose weight healthily is to eat fewer calories than you burn off. Or burn more calories than you eat. So if this is your goal, the only way you’re going to achieve it is by eating less, moving more or a mixture of the two.

Many of our goals are long-term. The results we want to achieve are a month or more down the line. Keeping momentum and motivation high can be a real challenge. So, using the example above, think about shifting the way you look at what you want to achieve. Rather than your goal being to lose ten pounds in two months, shift your thinking to the present: Today I want to healthily eat fewer calories than I burn. Today I want to spend 15 minutes doing some exercise.

It's easier to narrow your thinking to the next 24 hours than it is to consider the next three or more months. Being narrow-minded can sometimes be a good thing! When tomorrow comes, start all over again - make your goals anew. String all those todays together, and eventually you reach your goal as a natural and logical consequence of sticking to your daily targets.

So you’ve made your New Year’s Resolutions. Now what? Here’s your 4-step daily action plan to keeping them going:

1. Refresh. Every morning remind yourself of your goal. Make your New Year’s Resolutions all over again, every morning when you wake up. This keeps your momentum and motivation high.

2. Focus. Focus on achieving that goal today. Think only of today. Don’t beat yourself up about the mistakes you made yesterday and don’t overwhelm yourself with the long list of things you have to do tomorrow, next week, next month.

3. Move towards your goal. Make every action today one that moves you towards that goal. If your goal is to lose weight, eating chocolate cake moves you away from your goal. If your goal is to save money, blowing cash on a PS3 or new dress moves you away from that goal. Make a point of asking the question: does this move me towards or away from my goal? Always be moving towards your goal.

4. Reward yourself. Make a list of small rewards: a new book, a lipstick, 30 minutes of “me” time, a bubble bath. Allow yourself a small reward at the end of every day, even if you didn’t meet your daily target. As long as you’re still trying you’re still on the road to achieving your goal and that's worth feeling good about.

In the words of Winston Churchill: Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. In other words, you only ever fail when you give up.

Think of your New Year’s Resolutions as a plant that needs a little watering and TLC every day. If you take care of today, tomorrow takes care of itself.

Best wishes,

Dawn

Anyone for Swingball?

Here's a visualisation exercise for anyone who wants a little extra help sticking to those New Year's Resolutions.

Ever played Swingball? You know, the tennis ball on a piece of string attached to a pole which goes into the ground. You and your opponent bat the ball round and round the pole, one clockwise, the other anti-clockwise. One player is trying to get the rope moving up the central coils all the way to the top of the pole, the other player is trying to move the rope down the central coils to the bottom of the pole. Each swing of the ball moves the rope upwards or downwards depending who hits it.

Imagine your goal is at the top of the Swingball pole. Let's take exercising as a our resolution as it seems to be most common one people make.

So, you've planned out your exercise programme - say, you're going to exercise three times a week for thirty minutes.

Every time you exercise, imagine you are hitting the Swingball and the rope is moving up one coil. At the end of the week you've exercised three times, you've reached the top of the pole. Great. Now repeat the process at the start of the next week, and the week after that and so on.

So, now what generally happens? At around week three or so, we have this habit of veering off track. Say you miss one day of exercise for whatever reason. You may just be busy, it may just be an off day, you might just be feeling uninspired. What tends to happen with New Year's Resolutions is the very moment we "fail" - we miss a run, eat that chocolate muffin, have a cigarette - the psychological impact of failing is enough to send us spiralling downwards. We've set ourselves such a high standard with no wiggle room for the odd slip-up that the guilt and the feeling of failing sabotage our plans. We give up.

So let's stop there for a minute. Retrace our steps - and imagine that Swingball again. So you miss an exercise day - what happens to the Swingball? The rope moves down just one coil - note: it does not automatically go all the way to the bottom. You are still, generally speaking, making upwards progress. Does that make it easier to keep your goals, and your progress towards them, in context?

The key then:

• break your New Year's Resolution into small bite-size chunks. This week I will exercise three times for thirty minutes rather than I am going to exercise every day for the next three months. Or, for today only I'm going to eat healthily rather than I'm never going to eat chocolate again.

• imagine the Swingball - or if you like - upward progress, versus downward progress. Every time you exercise, eat healthily for a day, take vitamins, don't smoke - you move one step upwards. Keep focused on reaching the top of the coil...

• If you slip up, remember keeping the top of the Swingball coil in focus, think: what can i do to keep myself on track?

• give yourself lots of positive feedback - praise yourself - how often do we do that? feel good about every step no matter how small.

• be kind to yourself - New Year's Resolutions are about becoming better people - fitter, healthier, nicer. That in itself is something to feel good about.

Good luck with all your resolutions!

Warmest wishes,

Dawn

Why New Year's Resolutions Go Wrong...

It's that time of year again. After perhaps eating and drinking a little too much over the holiday season, when the waistband feels a little bit tighter and we're feeling just a little bit blah from the excess... there comes that moment when many of us may sit down and write a list. A list of all those things we want to either start doing or more often stop doing, the ultimate aim to be an all-round better person - healthier, fitter, happier, nicer...

We do it every year without fail, and every year without fail, two weeks in to giving up smoking, chocolate, gossiping, whatever it is, we're at it again. Why do we start the year with such good intentions only to fall and fail? Those NYRs fall by the wayside and become just one other thing we beat ourselves up about, more proof that we're failures - I'll never lose weight, I'll never give up smoking, I'm never going to be able to save enough to get my own home. I'm useless.

And there's the secret.

We're not very gentle on ourselves are we? Stop for a moment and listen to that inner nag - the one that berates you for eating that chocolate bar, or forgetting to call your brother on his birthday. Would it ever be acceptable to speak to another human being the way we speak to ourselves? Imagine taking all those words you use to beat yourself up and saying them to a child. We'd be horrified, wouldn't we?

What happened to giving ourselves a little bit of room and space to fall down occasionally?

So here's the tip. If you, like many people, are deciding on your New Year's Resolutions right now, remind yourself it's not an all or nothing process. Expect a few little slip ups, build them in to your expectations, but when you do slip up, be kind to yourself and keep going.

For example, if you've gone a whole week without eating chocolate only to give in to temptation at the weekend, allow yourself that moment. One slip up won't undo your week of being good. Chart your progress on a weekly basis, not a daily one, see the bigger picture. When you are kinder to yourself, when you focus on what you've done right, not what you perceive you've done wrong, the positive feedback you give yourself, creates an upward spiral of energy to help you keep going.

Setting yourself goals is an ongoing process - it's about gradually improving and seeing progress. It is not all or nothing, win or lose. You have a lifetime to be a fitter, happier, healthier person. Don't beat yourself up over one false step.

After many years of not making New Year's Resolutions, this year I will be... one of those is to reconnect with friends I've lost touch with over the past six months, to give some time to people whose company I value.

Happy New Year - I wish you all good things for 2009!