The Art of Giving

One of the coaches I trained under has recently started his own blog. Dr Jim Vuocolo is one of the wisest, kindest coaches I have been lucky enough to meet. His first blog had this holiday message.

Every year Jim and his wife choose a random address in the local phone book from a rundown section of the town they live in. They send an anonymous note to that address, along with a $10 or $20 bill. The note simply says: "Dear friend — If you can use the enclosed gift to make life better for yourself or someone else this holiday season, please do so. If not, please take a moment to pass it on anonymously to someone else. Thank you, and have a truly blessed holiday season!"

What a great idea. I started thinking how it would feel to receive a gift like that in the mail and it inspired me to think about doing the same. But as I wondered how I would decide which address to send my donation to, I started thinking. "What if the money gets "lost" in the post?" My family used to send money in the post in birthday and Christmas cards, but twice the money never showed up. Either it got lost, or I admit I started harbouring suspicions about the men and women who work in our local sorting office.

Then I started thinking - What if the person I send the money to uses it to buy alcohol or drugs or what if they gambled it away? What if they were insulted by the charity? What if it went to someone really evil?

By this time I'd pretty much talked myself out of the whole idea.

So I had to stop myself for a minute and give myself a good talking to. How often have we talked ourselves out of doing something nice or charitable by seeing the negative? The homeless person on the street who you walk on by because you know he's going to buy booze with any money he gets? The thought that any donation you make to organised charity might just get swallowed up by administration costs or paying salaries?

When we do that though, we deny ourselves an important part of the giving process. Giving is a two-way thing. It feels good to give, maybe even better than it does to receive. No, we can't control how our gifts - money, time, patience - will be received, but really that side of it is out of our hands.

We can only control our own happiness - giving will make you feel better, that's almost guaranteed.

You can find Dr Jim Vuocolo's blog here: http://jimvuocolo.com and at www.soulbusiness.com

Wishing you all good things for 2009,

Dawn