Why New Year's Resolutions Go Wrong...

It's that time of year again. After perhaps eating and drinking a little too much over the holiday season, when the waistband feels a little bit tighter and we're feeling just a little bit blah from the excess... there comes that moment when many of us may sit down and write a list. A list of all those things we want to either start doing or more often stop doing, the ultimate aim to be an all-round better person - healthier, fitter, happier, nicer...

We do it every year without fail, and every year without fail, two weeks in to giving up smoking, chocolate, gossiping, whatever it is, we're at it again. Why do we start the year with such good intentions only to fall and fail? Those NYRs fall by the wayside and become just one other thing we beat ourselves up about, more proof that we're failures - I'll never lose weight, I'll never give up smoking, I'm never going to be able to save enough to get my own home. I'm useless.

And there's the secret.

We're not very gentle on ourselves are we? Stop for a moment and listen to that inner nag - the one that berates you for eating that chocolate bar, or forgetting to call your brother on his birthday. Would it ever be acceptable to speak to another human being the way we speak to ourselves? Imagine taking all those words you use to beat yourself up and saying them to a child. We'd be horrified, wouldn't we?

What happened to giving ourselves a little bit of room and space to fall down occasionally?

So here's the tip. If you, like many people, are deciding on your New Year's Resolutions right now, remind yourself it's not an all or nothing process. Expect a few little slip ups, build them in to your expectations, but when you do slip up, be kind to yourself and keep going.

For example, if you've gone a whole week without eating chocolate only to give in to temptation at the weekend, allow yourself that moment. One slip up won't undo your week of being good. Chart your progress on a weekly basis, not a daily one, see the bigger picture. When you are kinder to yourself, when you focus on what you've done right, not what you perceive you've done wrong, the positive feedback you give yourself, creates an upward spiral of energy to help you keep going.

Setting yourself goals is an ongoing process - it's about gradually improving and seeing progress. It is not all or nothing, win or lose. You have a lifetime to be a fitter, happier, healthier person. Don't beat yourself up over one false step.

After many years of not making New Year's Resolutions, this year I will be... one of those is to reconnect with friends I've lost touch with over the past six months, to give some time to people whose company I value.

Happy New Year - I wish you all good things for 2009!

Calling All Procrastinators...

Want to bash procrastination on the head but just haven’t got round to it?

Well, I'm going to make a bet with you. I’ll bet you, whatever is on your "to do" list, I can get you to start it and, if you’re up for the challenge, complete it in one to two hours. No fuss, no procrastinating, no putting off till tomorrow. If you finish your task, I keep your £5, if you don’t... you keep it.

Want to know how? Well, first let me tell you that story about the stressed out, busy boss/parent/executive/rocket scientist, whose daily mantra was: I’d clean out the car, do my filing, tidy the wardrobes, tackle all the clutter, fix that leaking tap, if only I could get “around to it”?

So here’s my offer: £5 for “a round tooit”.

Whatever it is you’ve been putting off – cleaning out cupboards, filing documents, sorting out your finances, fixing “stuff” - one simple (and I'm told "fun") exercise and you'll be blasting all those things on your to-do list. And you'll wonder why you ever took so long to get started in the first place.

Why is it important to get stuff done? Well, the things we put up with - that ever-growing list of things we need/should/would do - but never get around to, are drains on our energy. Imagine all those tasks are holes in a garden hose. By the time the water comes out of the nozzle, there's not enough water pressure to do the job. Another coach colleague of mine calls the list of things we put up with "the sand in your shoe". Irritating, annoying, draining.

Items on your to do list are a constant nag. I should be weeding the garden, I need to sort out all my old clothes... nag nag nag in the back of your mind. That puts you on a negative, downward energy spiral. Tackle just one of the items on the to do list and you reverse that spiral... you have more energy, and that increased energy can be used to tackle all the other items on your list.

But sometimes we need just a little kick start to get cracking. So, if you're interested in getting your hands on a little "round tooit" drop me an email - put "a round tooit" in the subject line and I'll help you bash procrastination on the head, hopefully for good.

Warmest wishes


Dawn